Finding Work Life Balance in Tech
Finding Work Life Balance in Tech
Finding the right balance between work and our personal lives while working in tech can be a constant battle. Since the pandemic, startups and bigger tech companies like Facebook and Google are constantly trying to incorporate more wellness initiatives like the 4-day work week, hybrid or fully remote work models and mental health days.
But is this enough? If we’re coming back to work and facing the same environment and dealing with our stressors in the same way, how are we solving the problem?
How do we, as individuals, get better at finding balance and rest while juggling meetings, parenting, and ever-changing KPIs?
There will inevitably be times when finding balance feels more challenging than others, like when there's a sprint or when you're approaching a high-sales period when all hands need to be on deck.
Yet, during these periods is when we truly need it most.
The first step to finding balance is understanding what holds us back from achieving it.
We need to look a little deeper - downloading a meditation app isn’t enough - we must understand ourselves and why it's hard for us as individuals. That’s what we will explore in this article!
Here’s what I’ll cover in this article:
What makes it hard to find balance while working in tech?
How to improve your work-life balance?
How small shifts can be big in the long term.
What makes it hard to find balance?
Conflicting priorities, values and needs
The biggest challenge I see with clients striving to balance life and work is the conflicting priorities, values and needs.
"Should I say yes to this after work?"
Often, we find ourselves juggling work and personal commitments with the need for rest. As humans, we need to feel like we belong and are a part of a community, and we also need rest and sleep.
"PING: Should I check that slack notification?"
We may find ourselves in the middle of savouring our lunch when the phone goes off and feel compelled to answer and make the most of our time. We are in a constant pursuit to squeeze more and more from our time instead of enjoying one thing at a time.
Making Trade-offs
The fact is that there will always be a need for some trade-offs when striving to get more balance. It means we need to make tough choices on where to place our energy and what to invest our time in.
Making these choices is the hard part, and coming to terms with the fact that we cannot please everyone, nor can we always be everything, for everyone is the hard choice too.
Asking for help
One of the most significant barriers I see with people striving for more balance is asking for help, whether it's from our colleagues, friends, partners or extended families; asking for help comes with a lot of baggage for a lot of us.
Yet, we must work through the thoughts and limiting beliefs that hold us back from asking for help.
One of the biggest ones is the fear of being perceived as not having our shit together. This fear is even more significant for those who identify as women and especially those from marginalised groups.
Another big one is the fear of being a burden to others.
These two limiting beliefs hold us back from asking for what we need and connecting with people on a more personal level because we love to be helpful if we're honest.
Trusting that everyone is responsible for saying yes or no, and giving ourselves permission to accept help is the challenge.
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How to improve work-life balance?
From a very young age, it became clear that my parents lacked balance. They hardly took time off, and as an only child with little understanding of the hardships of life, it resulted in a lot of resentment and feelings of loneliness. I will talk about this more in my upcoming course, but for now, I will say balance is a personal pursuit.
Yet, it hasn't always been easy, and my struggle to find balance was (and at times, still is) deeply rooted in the beliefs and attitudes surrounding success, money, and asking for help.
Explore your beliefs surrounding success
Maybe success for you looks like working harder and harder because that's what you grew up with - the belief that hard work = success. Even if it means at the expense of your wellbeing.
I had a client once who was getting ready to get back in the ring, as we call it, back into her career, after a break due to health reasons. We started to explore her beliefs surrounding success, and she realised that she wasn't afraid of failing but was scared of succeeding. What would success mean for her? She was worried about what it would cost her.
Often, these are the subtle and often unconscious ways we self-sabotage.
Explore your beliefs around asking for help
Asking for help is a barrier for a lot of us, myself included. I watched strong women in my family never ask for help - and how it led to burnout and so much stress. The belief? "It's always better to do it myself - that way, I never get disappointed." OR "If I do it, it will turn out way better, and I won't have to fix it." OR, "If I ask for help, I am a burden to [insert name of the person who would love to help you].Sound familiar?It's hard to strike a balance between asking for help and getting clear on what you need and expect should the person agree PLUS accepting help without the added self-loathing.That's where a lot of us struggle.When I was at my worst with my chronic illness, I needed a lot of help, and I also felt like a burden for the asking. It wasn't till I worked through these beliefs with a coach that I could get to the root of WHY it was so hard and take steps to accept and reframe what it meant to ask for help.
How small shifts can be big in the long term.
Sometimes we think of balance as this big, unattainable step, but minor shifts done consistently every day can make the most significant difference over time.
Here are some of my favourites:
The regular pause
The power of play
Do nothing
The regular pause
One of my favourite ways of incorporating more space for calm in my life is taking regular pauses throughout the work day. I remember presenting some quarterly results for our performance marketing activities once, and my reminder to pause was showcased for all to see! Makes sense that I've since shifted into the wellness and coaching realm, doesn't it? Anyway! Scheduling regular short breaks throughout the day is highly beneficial - this research can back me up.
I have this app installed on my Mac, which I have customised to remind me take a break every 15-minutes for 15-seconds and every 50-minutes for 4-minutes. On the shorter breaks I look away from my laptop, take a few deep breaths, admire something, pet my dog - basically anything but work and the longer breaks I stand, walk about, grab some fresh water and stretch.
The point is to intentionally pause and take a break from your screen, remind yourself that life exists outside work, and breathe.
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The Power of Play
I often stop to pause and notice how carefree and joyful children are. When did we stop believing in play? When did adulting become about taking ourselves so seriously?
Research shows that play improves wellbeing and reduces stress in adults. Psychiatrist Stuart Brown says, "What all play has in common is that it offers a sense of engagement and pleasure, takes the player out of a sense of time and place, and the experience of doing it is more important than the outcome."
I think we spend enough time on screens and tech (often to the detriment of our health), so explore what play looks like for you:
kicking a ball, painting, drawing, dancing, crossword puzzles, puzzles, playing fetch with your dog…and start doing more of it.
Do Nothing
Sit or lay down on some grass and do nothing else. Allow yourself to get bored and work through the urge to get up and make the most of every second.Boredom has been linked to creativity, and for a good reason. Allowing thoughts to come and go while doing nothing for a few minutes will give your mind and body peace away from endless texts, notifications and to-do lists plus, it might reveal what you're running from.It might be uncomfortable at first, but making time to be without a distraction can do wonders for your wellbeing in the long term.
Your health and wellbeing depend on you learning to find balance. It's essential because as much as we want our bodies to keep functioning at high levels of stress, they simply cannot.
As you strive for better balance, remember that small shifts in habits and in thinking make a huge difference in the long term.
